Should you open gifts at your baby shower? What is the proper baby shower etiquette these days? And are there alternative options if you’d rather skip it?
If you’ve been wondering about this, you’re definitely not alone. This is one of those baby shower topics that people have strong opinions about—and honestly, it’s not always clear what the “right” thing to do is anymore.
The other day I took my boys to a birthday party for one of their friends. It was at a little ninja warrior gym and the boys had a blast! Upon entering, we placed our present on the gift table and then they took off to climb and jump on everything in sight!
After an hour or so, we gathered into the party room to sing “Happy Birthday” and eat cupcakes… and then the party was over.
I was a bit surprised that the presents weren’t opened.
I didn’t necessarily need to see the birthday boy’s reaction (although it was a pretty cool rocket launcher, so I was curious), but it did make me wonder… is this becoming a thing now? And of course there is the fact I didn’t place a tag on the gift, so I needed to let the parents know who the gift was from. Oops!
Growing up, opening presents was one of the main events—play, cake, and then gifts!
Which got me thinking…
Do You Have to Open Gifts at a Baby Shower?
No—you do not have to open gifts at your baby shower.
While it’s a long-standing tradition, modern baby shower etiquette has become much more flexible. Whether or not you open gifts really depends on your preferences, your guest list, and the kind of experience you want to create.
Some moms-to-be love it. Others would rather skip it entirely.
Let’s talk about both sides…
Should You Open Gifts at Your Baby Shower (Two Perspectives)
There is actually quite the debate on this question of whether or not you have to open gifts at the baby shower. Traditionally a baby shower is a time to “shower” the mom-to-be with items she needs for the new baby.
All the baby showers I have attended consist of socializing, eating, playing games, and opening presents. But just like the custom that baby showers are only for women has adjusted for many to also include men and children at their showers, the protocol to always open gifts at your baby shower is definitely shifting.
1. Skip Opening Gifts
Some are adamant that this baby shower tradition needs to go.
They’ll tell you it can be:
- a little boring for guests
- time-consuming (especially with larger groups)
- and honestly… a bit awkward
And I can definitely see their point.
I didn’t think much about it until I attended a baby shower for a friend with 40+ guests. This being the first grandchild for both her and her husband’s families, the grandparents, along with the aunts and cousins, gave a slew of presents.
It took FOREEEEEEEVER!
The length of time was magnified by the fact that we were packed into a small room and that I knew only two people there. The chairs were arranged into a large circle and the mama-to-be was almost right smack dab in front of the exit. I was too embarrassed to walk out early so I stayed for the entire ordeal. I definitely wouldn’t mind having those hours back. 🙂
Some expectant mothers also feel uncomfortable opening gifts in front of a crowd (I’ll admit the time I pulled out some type of nursing nipple thing at my shower it made for an extremely awkward moment!). They would much rather spend the time socializing with their friends and family than “ooohing and awwing” over every baby gift.
2. Definitely Open Gifts at Your Baby Shower
On the flip side—some people LOVE this part of the shower and say opening gifts is an absolute must!
They see it as:
- a meaningful moment
- a chance to share in the excitement
- and a way to show appreciation
They think its fun spending the time with loved ones sharing in all the gifts for the new little one! They think watching the mom-to-be open the present they brought to be the best part of the shower and are pretty disappointed if the mama doesn’t.
Many believe it is selfish and rude not to. Declaring that if you didn’t want to be the center of attention, you shouldn’t have agreed to have a baby shower in the first place. Because isn’t that the whole idea behind a shower?
They insist that this is the perfect time for the new mama to show appreciation to her guests for taking the time and energy to generously give her new little one a gift.
They assert that it is the polite thing to do and is expected by everyone.
Should You Open Gifts at Your Baby Shower? (Quick Guide)
If you’re on the fence, here’s a simple way to think about it:
You might want to open gifts if:
- You have a smaller guest list
- You enjoy being the center of attention
- Your guests expect it
You might skip it if:
- You have a large group
- You’d rather spend more time socializing
- You feel uncomfortable opening gifts in front of others
Things to Consider
No matter which way you’re leaning, here are a few things that can help you decide:
- Length of the shower
- Number of guests
- Audience
- The mama-to-be’s comfort level
For example, opening gifts with 15 guests? Totally manageable.
Opening gifts with 60 guests? That’s a commitment!
Also opening a mountain high of presents from 40+ people is definitely not for the faint of heart! Aside from taking awhile, it could wear any expectant mother out! Not to mention it might bore her guests to death!
These can be big factors in whether you are going to stick with the gift opening tradition or if you want to forgo the custom altogether. I highly recommend talking about it during the baby shower preparations to make sure all runs smoothly for everyone involved and that your guests know what to expect!
Let’s dive into both views…
Helpful Tips for Opening Gifts at a Baby Shower
Unless the mom-to-be is opening my gift, I admit I lose interest after a while. But there are ways to make the whole unwrapping ordeal more enjoyable (and less awkward) for the mama-to-be as well as keep the guests entertained.
1. Add a Game
One of my favorite, go to, baby shower games is Baby Bingo. It is a great way to keep guests interested in what is being opened. It can also be less awkward for the mama as some of the focus is off of her and on the gifts instead!
-> Grab my free elephant baby bingo cards here!
Another activity to keep the guests involved is to set a timer to go off every ten minutes when the mama-to-be begins opening presents. When the timer rings, the guest whose gift the mama-to-be is holding gets a prize of her own!
Or you could keep guests occupied by a low key baby shower activity, like filling out Advice for the Mama-to-be or Predictions & Wishes for Baby cards. Simply hand out the cards along with pens to everyone as soon as the gift opening begins.
2. Break It Up
No need to make it a marathon.
Pause for cake, conversation, or another activity—it makes a big difference.
3. Be Efficient
Recruit a few guests to help with the unwrapping process. This is where a little help goes a long way.
- Have someone hand you gifts
- Someone else open cards
- Someone track who gave what
- Someone manage cleanup
Nothing like creating a good old fashioned baby shower gift opening assembly line!
-> Use my free green leaf gift list found here! It’s at the bottom of that post, so be sure to scroll down!
4. Make It Optional
There is no need to make everyone feel obligated to sit through the entire unwrapping session. Help create an atmosphere where guests feel free to leave if they wish by simply waiting until the end of the shower to open gifts. Set up the present opening area in a way that doesn’t block or focus on the exit. Please whatever you do, don’t place your chair right in front of it!
At the end of the shower, thank everyone for coming and announce that you will be opening gifts for whoever wants to stick around for it. This will satisfy the no gift-opening-at-showers camp and please your great Aunt Mary who traveled 100 miles just to see your reaction when you open the baby blanket she personally crocheted for your new little one.
Alternatives to Opening Gifts at a Baby Shower
But for those of you who still despise the idea that you have to open gifts at your baby shower, never fear! There are definitely some non unwrapping gift options for you that will appease the entire crowd. Yourself included. 🙂
1. Let Guests Know Ahead of Time
A polite thing to do is to inform your guests of your decision to not open gifts so they know what to expect during the shower. The hostess can say something short and sweet like “Just to let you know, gifts will be opened after the shower. In lieu of opening gifts the mama-to-be would much rather spend the time visiting with you!”
If you decide to, you could also have her add that if they really want the mama-to-be to open their gift at the shower, that she would be happy to! This way you have more one on one time with your guest while you open their gift.
Notifying everyone also will ensure that guests don’t linger longer than desired because they are waiting for you to open the gifts!
2. Make It an Open House
On the invitations, have a start and end time to the shower. You may even want to add in the invite wording that they are invited to a “Baby Shower Open House” to celebrate the new little one!
This way guests know they can come and go as they please and that there isn’t necessarily a set schedule to the shower. You could also give your guests the option while greeting them at the door to open their gift right there. Chances are not everyone will feel the need for you to open theirs but you can for those friends that really want you to.
3. Have a Display Shower
This is a growing trend and can be done in a few different ways.
One method is to ask guests via invite to bring their gifts in clear cellophane paper. Then at the shower, display all the gifts on a table.
This will please the open-gifts guests who will be able to ‘ooo’ and ‘ahhh’ over all the tiny adorable baby gifts. And the expectant mother can also see and thank the givers during the shower without even lifting a finger!
An eco-friendly version of this is to ask guests with an invite insert to bring unwrapped gifts with a tag tied to it to identify who it is from. Hey if you receive any opposition to this idea, you can always blame it on saving trees! 😉
Whatever way you choose, the display shower definitely leaves you more time to socialize with your friends and family!
4. Ship Gifts Directly
Since so many purchases are made online anyways, you could give everyone the option of shipping the gifts directly to you. This could be very beneficial for the larger baby shower groups since you won’t have to worry about carting all the gifts home!
In Conclusion
At the end of the day, there’s no official rulebook when it comes to baby shower etiquette.
Whether you open gifts or skip it entirely, the most important thing is creating a celebration that feels comfortable and enjoyable for you.
So if you love the tradition—go for it!
And if the thought of opening gifts in front of a crowd makes you cringe… you have full permission to skip it.
Alright, my friends, so what do you think?
Should moms-to-be feel obligated to open gifts at their baby shower, or is this one tradition that’s ready to fade out? Let me know in the comments below!
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I threw a baby shower for 40+ guests. We opted for the unwrapped option. It was a hit. Now I’m organizing a shower for our local pregnancy care center. I’d like to do the unwrapped option again, but my co-planner is insisting that everyone likes to unwrap gifts. I’d like to find a fun and fast way to unwrap about 40 – 50 gifts in a short amount of time. Thoughts?
I definitely find it rude not to open and acknowledge ALL gifts at a baby shower.
I’m amenable, however, to the compromise of gifts being opened at the end of the shower, with the option for guests to stay or not, as they prefer.
I also believe utilizing the ‘conveyor belt’ method of opening gifts (like bridal showers of old used to do) is less taxing for the mother-to-be and more efficient in general.
Guest of honor is seated in the center, helper #1 next to them opens card & removes all wrapping, then hands mother-to-be card for her to read gift giver name(s) and state what gift is. Mom-to-be hands off to helper #2, who moves gift (with card) out of the way.
Optimal is to have a 3rd helper who can write what the gift is on the back of the card, in case card & gift get separated.
I agree with Didi – after spending time, money and travel, I am not as interested in chatting with guests I don’t know as I am in seeing the guest of honor ‘showered with gifts’.
And if the guest list is so overwhelmingly large, maybe a few smaller gatherings would help to alleviate some of the issues addressed.
I can’t believe that “strong young women” of today can get away without opening gifts in front of invitees. Your loved ones and friends picked out especially for you and your newborn something they thought you would love. If. You don’t want to acknowledge gifts ask that gifts be sent in advance to your home. That way if someone does not to really attend they don’t have to they can just send a gift and no big whoop. I think this new trend is crass behavior. If you don’t want to be in the spotlight don’t have a wedding or baby shower. I guess attendees can skip a card too. Saves money cards are expensive and unnecessary sorta like opening gifts in front of people who love you.
I went to a baby shower not long ago. It was the daughter of a someone I’d known for years. I didn’t even know that she was not opening gifts until long after we ate I happened to be talking to her mother in law and she mentioned that the gifts would not be opened at the shower. Not only that but the mother to be never even came over to say hi to me! I though it was quite bizarre. I personally like to watch the gifts being opened and I think it’s a great idea to have the games during this time if people get bored. I think too if the gifts are not going to be opened that an announcement should be made. But if your not going to open the gift(s) at least say hello to the people bringing them!
That’s so sad! What might be even more sad is that maybe the mom-to-be didn’t even know that she should have made a point to say hello to everyone that was graciously bringing her something. Is she a very young mother?
If she would have said hello to you but still not opened gifts, how would have that made you felt?
I personally like the gifts being open, and like you think a game played while doing so is a great idea!
I just attended a baby shower that did not open my gift. I left the shower very slighted. I feel it is rude, very rude not to a acknowledge a gift that is given to you. I will not attend any showers in the future that do not open their gifts.
I have to say that I personally agree with you Cindie. I’m so sorry that you felt slighted! Have you spoken to the new mama since then?
How will you know, with future showers, that they are not going to open your gift? Did they mention that on the invite? Just curious to how they handled (or didn’t handle) it.
How about doing away with the gifts all together and just make it a celebration. If you can afford a child you can afford to buy those things yourself. That way the gift givers are slapped in the face twice, once by you not acknowledging the time and $$ they put forth for you and then receiving the PHOTO thank you that they don’t even sign, months later. I guess that would be slapped twice cause I’m sure you did the same thing to them for your wedding.
Personally, I’m skipping the gift giving all together and may bring you a little something when the kid is born, like a 6 pack, cause I know you want it and your gonna need it.
I personally go to showers to enjoy the company but mostly to see what adorable gifts are being presented for the baby. After spending time and money, and travel time, I don’t want to just sit and chat with people I don’t know. A shower is showering the baby with gifts so we can oooo and ahhhh. That is the best part. If I am not going to see the new mummy open my gift, I might as well stay home and give it to her later, one-on-one.
I’ll be planning my baby shower soon and, after experience from my bridal shower, would rather not open gifts in front of everyone. My mom, who is much more old-fashioned, wants to host/plan it and is confused what else we would do. So in short, I’m super grateful for this post! It’ll help me consider either options.
Such a little thing for sure, but can really ruffle some feathers if you aren’t prepared! Glad the ideas were of some help and a BIG congrats on your precious bundle of joy on the way! Super exciting! Let me know what option (or if you come up with another one) you end up going with!
My neice had over 100 guests at her baby shower and we decided to do a raffle! We pulled 10-12 names from the prefilled out envelopes done at the beginning of the shower and those guests gifts were opened!!! I think it’s boring to sit watching gift aftetbgift being opened when there are soooo many guests/gifts!!! We announced early on that we were doing it that way and that made everyone certain to fill out their envelopes for the thank-you’s to be sent later!!!